{"id":500,"date":"2010-11-01T16:32:42","date_gmt":"2010-11-01T20:32:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.cablesandkits.com\/?p=500"},"modified":"2017-08-17T15:58:24","modified_gmt":"2017-08-17T19:58:24","slug":"halloween-haunts-and-horrors","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cablesandkits.com\/blog\/halloween-haunts-and-horrors\/","title":{"rendered":"Halloween Haunts and Horrors"},"content":{"rendered":"

Muuuaaaaahhhhh\u2026\u00a0 (picture of our illustrious leader grinning madly and wringing his hands while one wonders what mischief he\u2019s been up to)\u2026.<\/p>\n

I saunter into the office Halloween morning feeling like a million bucks.\u00a0 I mean, how else would I feel all gussied up like Marilyn Monroe?\u00a0 As I enter the office I duck, narrowly avoiding being singed by a light saber.\u00a0 Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker are battling it out to the death right here in Buford, GA.\u00a0 I mean, who let those yahoos in?\u00a0 What\u2019s a blond to do to protect her hairdo?\u00a0 (My wig could have gone up in flames!)\u00a0 As I stand there, heart racing at having just missed my early demise, I\u2019m grabbed and carted off by a big, hairy and very smelly Wookie.\u00a0 This is not how I had envisioned my day beginning.<\/p>\n

As I\u2019m being lugged further away from my desk, I see out of the corner of my eye a bloody-chested groom.\u00a0 Perhaps he was trying to steal that Gangster\u2019s girl and got the raw end of the deal?\u00a0 I had heard some gunfire earlier.\u00a0 He should know better than to mess with the Mob.\u00a0 In the distance I see a twinkling light.\u00a0 As we get closer I realize it\u2019s James, our Shipping Manager.\u00a0 Am I seeing what I think I\u2019m seeing?\u00a0 Is he\u2026.is he\u2026. dressed as a fairy?\u00a0 Sure enough he is, pink tutu and all.\u00a0 No matter, he\u2019s got special powers.\u00a0 Before I know it, he\u2019s freed me from the clutches of the warbling Wookie.<\/p>\n

As I work my way through the warehouse to get back to my desk I hear a horrible, gut-wrenching sound that strikes fear in my chest.\u00a0 What is that, I wonder?\u00a0 Sounds like metal scraping against metal.\u00a0 I quicken my steps, sensing trouble.\u00a0 As I round the corner out pops Freddie Kruger!\u00a0 I scream and turn around to flee.\u00a0 Suddenly, my hero appears.\u00a0 It\u2019s Dieman Dave, the Redneck Ninja.\u00a0 With a \u2018judi\u2019 chop, a quick throw of the tobacco can \u2018ninji\u2019 star and some \u2018ninji whompin\u2019 action, Freddie was toast!\u00a0 Yeah!<\/p>\n

Not wanting to get into any further trouble, I ask Dieman Dave, the Redneck Ninja, to escort me to my desk so I can get some work done.\u00a0 As we\u2019re walking, we hear the eerie creak of a wooden door being opened.\u00a0 Oh no, really?\u00a0 It\u2019s a mummy, wrapped head to toe in\u2026well, whatever the heck mummies are wrapped in!\u00a0 This was a fast mummy too; not one of those lumbering idiots you see in all the movies.\u00a0 Luckily for me I\u2019m quick on my feet.\u00a0 Unfortunately, the Redneck Ninja, not so much.\u00a0 Oh well, sometimes sacrifices have to be made.<\/p>\n

No more fooling around, it\u2019s time to get to work!\u00a0 I catch a ride with a cute biker chick.\u00a0 As we pass the picketing nudist group (don\u2019t ask), we narrowly avoid hitting the Chick-fil-A cow – darn, I had worked up an appetite, too, with all these shenanigans (oops!, did I say that out loud?).\u00a0 Finally I arrive safe and sound at my desk.\u00a0 Muuuaaaaahhhhh\u2026..I hear.\u00a0 As I turn around, there\u2019s our leader dressed in a business suit jacket, boxers with ninja turtles on them and socks pulled up to his knees.\u00a0 Oh, brother, the madness begins anew\u2026!<\/p>\n